


He Sleeps Alone

by dr_ducktator



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 14:45:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_ducktator/pseuds/dr_ducktator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey Specter sleeps alone. Mike Ross wants to know why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Sleeps Alone

**Author's Note:**

> A little pre-slash tale inspired by Two Door Cinema Club's "Sleep Alone." You can hear the song, complete with lyrics, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8eGJz4t-V4.  
> Also, spoilers for everything.

Harvey Specter sleeps alone. This is his general rule. Sure, there are one-night stands and the occasional weekend fling where he ends up sharing a bed with someone, but when all is said and done, he sleeps alone.

Mike Ross sleeps alone. This is not his general rule, but his life isn’t really his own anymore, so he doesn’t dwell on the existential implications of it.

Mike learns about Harvey’s preferred solitude as one normally does when one wants to know something about one’s boss: he pays attention. Mike has overheard, on numerous occasions, Donna good-naturedly trading barbs with Harvey about his innate inability to commit to a long-term relationship.

Despite it appearing that Harvey doesn’t seem to care whether his dalliances are discussed in the presence of his Associate, it bothers the hell out of Mike.

He just can’t put his finger on why he’s so bothered by it; it’s not like it’s out of character for Harvey to be the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. 

But he wants to know _why_ Harvey is the way he is. He wants to know if, as Harvey’s “another me,” he’s headed down the same road. And while Harvey seems to enjoy flying solo, the idea of being alone indefinitely freaks Mike out more than just a little bit. 

When something bothers Mike he takes an interest in it. When he takes an interest in something he learns all he can about it. Something about Harvey's aloneness bothers him, so he’s going to learn all he can about him.

It’s a simple plan, really. He doesn’t want to uncover hidden meanings, watch skeletons tumble from closets, or try and convince Harvey of the magical power of love. Harvey’s a grown man; Mike’s sure love has bitten Harvey on the ass frequently enough. That’s one of Mike’s theories, anyway. 

Mike’s end game is knowledge. That’s all. He just wants to understand. In reality, Mike has no idea what he’s getting himself into

____________________________________________

Mike acquires a bit of knowledge regarding Harvey’s propensity for solitude when he works up the courage to ask Donna about Zoe. All Mike knows is that Harvey was dating her, sort of.

They are at Donna's desk. It’s only 7:30 in the morning, but Harvey’s already hard at work, on the phone with some client. Mike knows he should be working too, but he reasons that in some way he is.

Donna casts a nervous glance at Harvey’s office. “No,” is all she says.

“Please, Donna? Come on,” Mike pleads. “I promise it’s for a good cause, and I swear never to use the information for evil.”

Donna sits down and starts typing something, refusing to speak. Mike offers a bribe. “I will bring you coffee every day for a month if you tell me.”

Donna smiles; it’s a sweetly wicked upturn of her mouth. Mike sighs. Of course.

“God, you’re easy,” Donna says finally; there’s glee in her voice, but she keeps right on typing. “I would have told you anyway, you know, eventually, in my own brilliant way. But you’re such a sucker. For being so smart you’re awfully dense. You should know everything comes at a price, and--”

“Donna, just tell me.”

She looks away from her monitor and at him. “Zoe and Harvey had kind of a thing. She was nearly perfect for him. But she’s left New York to take care of her niece. End of story.”

“She left?”

“Yes. She left. She’s gone, and Harvey has successfully sorted and compartmentalized his feelings on the matter, like always.” She rolls her eyes. Mike knows she doesn’t believe Harvey’s sorted anything; if anyone were to know whether he really had, though, it would be her, and she doesn't look convinced.

Mike opens his mouth to ask another question, but Donna stops him. “Nope. That’s all you get. Now Harvey’s expecting you. Go. Shoo.” She holds up a finger of warning and says, “And not a word. "Oh, and don't forget this." She hands him a slip of paper containing a different coffee order for every day for the next 30 days.

He processes the information Donna’s just given him as he pushes open Harvey’s office door. He tries to remember Harvey being off-kilter at all lately, but he comes up with nothing. He’s the same Harvey he’s always been: cocky, arrogant, self-assured, and good at what he does. 

He’s digging in his bag for the files Harvey orders him to produce when it dawns on him: he matters to Harvey. Mike’s been working with Harvey long enough to know that he’s a man of expertly-hidden contradictions, but he isn't an automaton. He says he doesn’t care about Mike, but Harvey has saved Mike’s ass more times than he cares to think about, and Harvey’s saving him can’t possibly be chalked up to his own sense of self-preservation alone. Add that to the fact that Harvey even hired his sorry ass in the first place and Mike cannot not help but conclude that Harvey cares about him.

Part of his brain makes notes as Harvey rattles off a bunch of tasks for him to get done within the next three hours, while the other part is still mulling over what Donna said about Harvey and how he manages his emotions.

He leaves Harvey’s office and heads back to his cubicle. Putting in his ear buds and gearing up for all the shit he needs to get done, he’s struck by an important realization: Harvey was never deeply affected by Zoe’s leaving because by her leaving Harvey is off the hook. She’s gone, so there is no emotional risk. He will never have to invest any part of himself more than he maybe already had. 

Mike does not honestly believe that Harvey is _completely_ unaffected by his personal relationships. He does believe, though, that Harvey has built an amazing force of self-defense that consists not of some kind of metaphorical emotional battalion, but of one, single, solitary, incredibly resilient man. It saddens Mike to think about.

____________________________________________

He continues his research on Harvey, careful never to let on about what he’s up to. He asks Harvey about his weekends now and then, noting when there’s ever a little extra swagger in his step, but there is no one special Harvey’s been spending time with as far as he can tell. 

Then Scottie comes back to town and Mike witnesses the Harvey Specter Defense System go to DEFCON 1.

Mike doesn’t really have a chance to see Harvey and Scottie interact too much because he’s often running errands and finding hidden information for their cases. The firm’s in the middle of a massive cluster-fuck, so Mike gives his full attention to his assignments.

After the smoke clears a little, Scottie is gone and Mike realizes it’s because Harvey sent her packing. Having trust issues seems part and parcel of being a lawyer. Harvey’s told Mike many times not to be so trusting. But Mike can’t help it; it’s part of who he is.

But it’s not part of Harvey. Harvey allows access to himself to precious few people. If Harvey has let you in, he more or less trusts you. If he no longer trusts you, you’re out. When you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. You’re a ghost. You’re a vapor. You don’t exist. And if you don’t exist you can’t hurt him.

Harvey Specter sleeps alone. Mike is beginning to understand why.

____________________________________________

In his search for the answers to all questions Harvey-related, Mike comes to understand that he is close to Harvey in way that is different from anyone else in Harvey’s life. Harvey has put his trust in Mike, and Mike feels honored. But he’s scared, too, because he doesn’t want to end up outside of Harvey’s radar. He wants to be close to him. 

He wants to be _with_ him. 

That is a revelation that both terrifies and excites Mike. A million questions ranging from, “Does Harvey even like guys?” to “You’re out of your mind, you know that, Mike?” surge to the forefront of his mind. 

Mike needs to figure things out. He needs to calm down. It helps him to know that Harvey’s not going anywhere any time soon. So he quells the rising fear he feels in his gut and resolves to approach this problem with the same methodology he would any other problem: when something bothers Mike he takes an interest in it. When he takes an interest in something he learns all he can about it. He is interested in being with Harvey, so he’s going to learn all he can about how to make that happen.

Harvey Specter sleeps alone, but Mike Ross wants to change that.


End file.
